The devil is a tricky sort. He can influence you in so many ways. There are the obvious, such as witchcraft and the occult. There are the less obvious such as modern music and art. Then there are the truly insidious, such as the Care Bears.
In my youth every aspect of secular culture was kept under careful watch for the influence of the devil and his demons. Demonic activity could be found everywhere. We were in a war for souls and the devil had free reign on the Earth to pollute and mislead.
One of the more sinister threats was Dungeons and Dragons, a role-playing game that would open you up to the occult and the devil's influence. My friends loved Dungeons and Dragons (D&D). I refused to play but found other role-playing games that were not D&D and convinced them to play.
We played games such as BattleTech, the TMNT role-playing game, GURPS and others. I often acted as the Game Master (GM), the one in the group who 'ran' the story for the other players. I played the non-player characters (NPCs) they would interact with, I controlled the opposition and enemies, and helped to shape the narrative.
The most difficult part of this role, at times, was in understanding the motives and drive of the 'bad guys'. I had to play them convincingly so I had to try to understand how they would justify their own world view. It was boring, but easy, to simply make over-the top villains who were evil for evil's sake. Boring for both me and the players. So I started crafting better villains. More relatable villains. Bad guys who were themselves possibly mislead or who simply took a good idea too far.
Empathy for the villain was a most serious trick by the devil. He had me good. As I began to wonder how anyone could side against God, could dare elevate themselves above the almighty or make a claim for the throne, I ran into something I'd only heard about before in couched fear and muttered curses. I met a real-life Satanist.
Like most of my culture shocks in my early teens I met him through a BBS[1]. The discussion I met him in had nothing to do with religion. It was a debate between capitalists and libertarians (who I identified with) and socialists (who I felt were demoniacally inspired, I'd been taught well at church). My position suddenly had some support from someone who joined the discussion. Someone quoting Atlas Shrugged and making and supporting some of my same points but in a much more brusque and snarky tone.
I liked this guy, in part because he was helping me argue and in part because he was well spoken and confident. His posts left no doubt to his stance or his strength of conviction. When he noted in another conversation thread that he was attending the next 2600 meeting[2] I made a mental note to make sure I went. I wanted to meet him in real life.
When I went to meet up with this guy a few people were standing near him looking at something he held. A bright red card he was showing off. As I got closer someone I recognized called me over to check it out. The little red card had black text bolded at the top 'Church of Satan' and below that above a line marked 'Citizen of the Infernal Empire' was the name of the young man I had hoped to meet.
"You're a Satanist?" I asked.
"Yep," he replied with a smirk.
My heart raced. Here was the actual enemy I'd been warned about in church, in pamphlets, in videos. An actual Satanist. Someone who had sided with the Ultimate Evil. The Great Darkness. An agent of Satan himself. He was dressed almost just like us. Jeans, a black band t-shirt, thin-rimmed glasses. He stood a little taller than me, about average height. He was older than many of us, in his early 20s. He looked like many of the other people I hung out with. He looked like some of my friends.
The rest of the meeting is a blur as I wrestled with this revelation. As I tamped down panic at encountering an ally of the Dark One. I needed to talk with someone, a pastor, an elder at church, someone. There were Satanists here in Colorado! Acting openly!
What was worst, however, was that I had respected this guy, this soldier of the devil. We had been allies in our online discussion! I'd agreed with his points and he'd helped me argue. How could this be?
I struggled over the next few days to get my head around this. Then, on one of the BBSes I frequented he made a new thread and post. "Facts about Satanism", he'd titled it. And I read and read. Suddenly like in the role-playing games I was learning about the enemy. I was seeing the mind of the villain.
I'd never felt like my soul was in such danger as it was now. Was it even safe to try to learn about this? Did I have the 'armor of God' to withstand the sinister traps the devil was sure to lay in my path?
[11] Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. [12] For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."— Ephesians 6:11-12
Was my faith strong enough?