The Atheist waits for proof of God. Till that proof comes he remains, as his name implies, without God. His mind is open to every new truth, after it has passed the warder Reason at the gate.
— Annie Wood Besant
The foundations I built upon are shattered. The walls tumble down as utter desolation erupts. Everything is reduced to ashes and rubble. Security, serenity, spirituality all crushed and destroyed. A great upheaval sunders all that I have known and believed in.
In my heart I say, "I do not know." In my mind I say, "therefore, I do not believe." It is the stance of the agnostic-atheist.
We do not assert a truth value to the existence of God - neither belief or disbelief - but we point to the evidence and note the lack thereof. Therefore we place no belief. It is not a denouncement of the existence of God; we do not assert "it does not exist." We simply shrug and ask for evidence.
I find none.
The tower is fallen, leaving rubble and ruin. Amidst the debris I wonder how I'll ever rebuild, how I'll ever start again. I wonder where I even begin.
Empty now even of hate - why waste the effort on a being who does not seem to exist? Empty. Hollowed out there is a void where there was once I.
A flicker of emotion remains. Embers in the ashes. Resentment. Will it warm me? Will it feed me? Is it all I have left?